Sunday, July 31, 2011

10 years of bliss

My husband and I celebrated our 10th anniversary. There is little else in this world that can bring you greater joy or greater despair than marriage. I always say to my husband, "When things are good between us, everything is okay in the world." When we are close to each other, it doesn't matter what comes our way, we feel like everything will be okay and we can get through anything. But when we aren't close, when there is tension, or hurt feelings (mostly on my part :) it clouds the rest of our worlds. Tiny problems can throw us into bad moods, we are dissatisfied with life and other people...you get the picture.
Our marriage is not perfect. There are definitely those times when we struggle to understand each other. But we have made tremendous progress in our journey through the last ten years. When we were engaged, I'm sure we were like most couples. We thought we had marriage all figured out, we thought there was little else to learn about each other, we thought that there would be little difficulties in our marriage. In essence, we were naive in our presumptions.
I had no idea how marriage would open my mind to every single weakness I have. Some of them are big. Some of them are small. Some have had serious impacts on our marriage while others barely scratch the surface. And I'll be forever grateful for the enlightenment. How in the world can I work to overcome my weaknesses if my eyes are blind to them? So many qualities I thought I had mastered...patience, forgiveness, compassion, kindness, good communication....through marriage, it wasn't hard to see that my work in those areas was far from done. Some people say that marriage can be a real eye-opener. I agree. My marriage has truly opened my eyes as to who I really am.
And I've learned more about who my husband really is. I knew he possessed patience, determination, forgiveness, commitment, etc. I just didn't know how deeply those traits ran. I didn't know how often the quality of our marriage would depend on his ability to exercise those qualities. I didn't realize to the full extent what an amazing man I was marrying. And how could I? Did I know what was in store for us as we started our lives together? Did I know all the challenges and joys we would face together? I had no idea. Neither of us did. And we could hypothesize all we wanted about how we would behave in situations...but neither of us truly knew how we would act. We knew how we'd want to behave, but that didn't mean it would all play out like we hoped. Neither of us knew the strength we possessed until we were forced to use it.
I love my husband. I thank God every day that I get to share my life with him. I am so grateful that he is always in my corner. He sees my weaknesses up close and personal-more than anyone else on this earth-and he still loves me. He helps me and encourages me to be better. He is honest with me even if the truth is not what I'm looking to hear. He has stood by me through dark and trying times. He has carried me when I was crippled with despair. He is the keeper of my most private thoughts. He is gentle and tender when wading through my insecurities. He is thoughtful and kind. He is steady and calm when I'm crashing around. He is my partner in the greatest work we will ever do, raising our children. He is supportive of all my endeavors whether they be building furniture, fulfilling my church callings, creating family traditions, teaching our children, or strengthening myself. He has forgiven me for repeated offenses. He knows that I am a work in progress. I would not be who I am without him by my side.
Yesterday we were talking about how easy it is to get distracted from what is most important in life. I pray that I will never be distracted from loving you, from appreciating you, from enjoying your company. I love you Babe. Thank you for your love and all the ways that you have made me better.

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