What is Love?

My sister and I always joke about how different our husbands are from most of the other guys we dated back in the day. When we were young and in high school, the stereotypical displays of affection scored big points. There were dozens and dozens of love notes, flowers, obviously well-thought out dates, etc. I have to admit too that we seemed quite skilled at manipulating (don't know about that being the nicest word) our followers into producing these love tokens (we knew how to be clear about what we wanted, and we got it :). Fast forward to now. I've been married for almost 9 years, we have four kids, a dog, a house to take care of, a fridge to keep full, a sink to keep empty, a job to bring home the bacon, some seriously time-consuming church responsibilities, etc. Going into our marriage, I knew John would never win any awards for "leading romantic man." All of his love notes were occasion cards, just not the occasion we were celebrating. My valentines card was a "Get Well" card. For my birthday I received a "Sympathy" one. And it was rare that John actually signed his name. Most of my love notes from the time were from "Travis." The first time John tried to give me a flower (bought from a lady on the pier), his approach was so comical, I seriously thought he bought it as a joke for his friend Todd who happened to be with us. I think the whole event ended with him throwing the rose in the ocean. Our first kiss....I won't even go there. Let's just say we both agree it would win awards for "Least Romantic Kiss."

But here is the point. I don't have a Costco membership. John signed up with his mom before we were ever dating, and it never seemed to be a problem until the last year or so. We liked going to Costco together, it was kind of fun. But now with all the demands on our time, it is really hard to find a night we can squeeze it in. I know we need to fix this, but that is another story. So the other night I ran out of milk (I hate that I'm in that stage of life where I run out of milk). Considering everything else I needed at Costco, I decided we better make a trip. I asked John if we could pick him up for lunch and head to the Costco by his work. Nice hubby that he is, he agreed. Well, lunchtime was coming and he called. He said he'd just meet us at home, we'd go to the one down here, and that way he'd be able to help me unload it all before heading back to work. Now THAT is romantic. The kind of romantic that doesn't win awards, but leaves a bigger mark on my heart than flowery words and plants. Right before he called, I was thinking about how much I was not looking forward to unloading everything and putting it away.

We get programmed in our culture to assess love based on the things the world has deemed "romantic." But really...what is more romantic? What is a better indicator that our spouse loves us? I love my husband. I love that he changes diapers, that he does the dishes WHILE he's watching the kids so I can take care of the Young Women. I love that he goes to work everyday even though there have been times it was total misery. I love that he will drop anything to be with me when I need him. I love that not only did he not get upset with me when I backed into his car, but he felt bad that I was so upset. I love that he shares the computer and the tv :) I love that he never complains when we are having another crappy dinner. I love that he lets me put my cold feet on him at night. I love that he'll give me his jacket even though it is my own dang fault that I didn't bring one. I love that he pushes me to do things that are in my best interest. I love that he never complains about how much I like to hang out with my family. I love that he takes out the trash. I love that he'll get up in time to take Carston to school every day. I love that when he's all out of options to lift my spirits, he never fails to resort to tackling or tickling me. I'm so blessed to have such an amazing husband who loves me in the ways that truly matter.
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1. What other grown man climbs on the M&M in New York? 2. Is it really that funny when you get in my shot of the shower I like? 3. Why in the world was it so important for me to get on your shoulders? 4. I don't think any other 30 year old man had as much fun as you did in the subway-nor was there another wife more embarrassed :) 5. Do you see my frustration in trying to get a picture of us we could actually use?













(Chelsey-John no longer has legitimacy when he calls you a "poser")